At the 2012 Presidential Election begins drawing near, economic conditions figure to play a large part in who will bore viewers during their State of the Union Address for the next four year. If you thought that everyone seemed to be making predictions on how the economy will fare in the coming months, you’d be right. That’s why we’ve scoured the Internet for some of the more bizarre economic forecasts out there:
- The Weather Channel- Partly good, partly bad. The economy will start poorly, but then will get better. But then will get worse again, with a chance of getting better before the day is over. Chance of us being right: 50%
- ESPN’s First Take- Stephen A Smith: I’m tellin’ ya Skip, the economy is going to be BOOMING in a month. I don’t know much, but I do know this: you will never see a better rebounder than the 2012 economy. NEVER. I’m talking triple-double GDP potential, behind-the-back interest rates and unemployment so low you’ll think Muggsy Bogues was Shaq. Skip, I’m tellin ya’, Ben Bernanke will go down as the BEST CHAIRMAN OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE EVER.
- Skip Bayless: Stephen A., you have lost your mind. This economy is more unclutch than LeBron James. The stimulus package was worse than a Dwight Howard free throw. Pretty soon, the only ones who will still be employed will be you and I, because America needs us. The only person who can save this economy, and I say this because I truly mean it, and nobody can convince me otherwise: the savior, Tim Tebow.
- Cartoon Network- Bam! Pow! The economy is going to THWACK! Power slam! “I’ll get you, unemployment!” “MUHAHAHAHAHA you’ll never dip under 8% again!” “That’s what you think, Orangeman John Boehner!” KABOOMPOWROARRRRRRRRRRRR.
- Betty White- “The economy will be as strong as it was when I was a little girl, or else I didn’t just drop a load in my adult diaper. No really, I did, excuse me.”
- Siri- “I found three restaurants serving eggs benedict near you.”